There are some difficulties of living that although hard just become a part of what’s normal. For instance, I anticipate and expect the news of the next bad choice by any one of my kids. I’m used to that. I’ve developed a tolerance for it. There was a time when I carried the weight of responsibility for their moral failures on my shoulders. My thought process was that if I had been a better parent or a better man then my children would have made better choices. That kind of thinking is over my shoulder. Do I have the power of influence? Do I have the power of control? Am I really responsible? I’ve answered those questions for myself because I had to. I had to because my day to day existence would have become unsustainable leaving those questions unanswered.

When I say “I’m used to that” or “I’ve developed a tolerance for it,” that’s me taking credit, taking glory from the One Who gives me the grace to get by. Forgive me for that. To be honest, I don’t think God is making me any stronger. Yes, I really just said that. My circumstances lead me to believe that He wants me weak. I have not been given a special power or ability to carry a heavy load. I am nobody’s super hero. I am truly utterly weak and powerless.

Here’s where it becomes very important for the reader to pay attention. Here is the truth in plain language. FOCUS for just a moment! Don’t miss this because of my “wordiness.” The difficulties, the suffering, the pain, and the hardships of relational living are not God’s way of making us strong! “What does not kill us will only make us stronger,” is a lie. The difficulties, the suffering, the pain of living among others are God’s way of pointing out our weakness and hopelessness. They are not a challenge to develop strength and a tolerance for what’s wrong in our lives. Let me offer an alternative view. Here is the path I have chosen. The difficulties, the suffering, the pain of living life in the company of other people in my family, culture, or community are omnipotent God’s invitation to me to surrender them to His care. None of this is to suggest that everything is easier now that I’ve changed my perspective. I struggle constantly. Instead of trying to figure out how I am going to carry this or that new piece of bad news, my struggle is believing God is trustworthy for even this.

Is becoming strong really just an excuse to avoid dependence on God? Is God offering me relief and freedom or is He offering me strength through exercise? Do I really want the ability to tolerate and the strength to endure the lunacy of others or do I want God to…..do something!? Will I ever be strong enough to change the heart of another human being? I’m thinking that real strength is recognizing and accepting that “tapping out” is what God has been after all along. But that’s just me thinking out loud……again.