Bad News, Hard Stuff, and Gold

Boaz,

I appreciate your words about Ashlee last week. I’m not much of a communicator on-line with people whom I’m not closely connected. Don’t think I don’t value your insight because I was not very responsive to your words. I heard you.

What an opportunity you and Ruth have freely given to Ashlee! What a gift the past months have been to her. I know it has not been easy for you guys to take on an extra person into your already cramped home. I also appreciate the fact that you and Ruth have been the ones walking with Ashlee as she struggles with her current dilemma regarding Africa and school. You have also made it clear to me how painful it is to watch her struggle. The good news is that her time with you is almost complete. I know your concern for her will continue after she leaves Mexico. Here’s the bad news Boaz. I foresee Ashlee’s struggles intensifying during her last days with you. Hang in there brother, I expect it will be hard right up to the final boarding call.

Here’s the hard stuff Boaz. Ashlee firmly believes that she is Spirit led to go to Africa with AIM in Sept. ’06. I do not discount that or have reason to disbelieve it in any way. However, I have made a decision that from my human perspective contradicts Ashlee’s belief about her immediate future. It is my wish that she begin school in January. I sought wisdom from God. I also sought the counsel from a small group of men whose wisdom I have learned to trust. I’m not asking her to disobey God and obey me. I’m asking her to honor the line of authority God has established for her and to trust Him that his purpose for her will be accomplished. The “old man” in me says that I want the impossible from her. The Jesus in me says otherwise.

I now ask for your help Boaz. I don’t seek your approval of my course of action. As you walk with her during these final days I ask that you honor my present authority over her. I’ve given Ashlee my decision in an email which you are free to read if she agrees. I want Ashlee to have as much time as possible to process what I have told her. I realize that this puts additional strain on you, Ruth, Rose, and your ministry. You have proven to be trustworthy so I will continue to trust you.

Let me tell you about my experience with God regarding His directives for my life. When God gives me a vision or presents me with an opportunity rarely has it worked out according to my understanding. Once upon a time God gave Keri and I a vision about Ashlee’s sister Nicoleta. He told us that Nicoleta was our daughter and that He would bring her home to us from Romania. No matter what we did in our strength to bring His will about we were thwarted. As the adoption process slowly crept forward we realized that we were powerless in the face of overwhelming adversity. A process that should have taken 6 to 9 months actually took nearly three years. During that time we nearly lost hope. We had nothing and no one to cling to for support. All that we had was His promise. (If the day hasn’t come for you it will when God’s promises seem awfully weak.) Many friends suggested we abandon the endeavor and many withdrew their support of what we believed God told us would happen. A radical faith building work was done in our hearts while we waited for God to have His way. Nicoleta finally met her mom and dad on a cool windy day in November, nearly three years after we began the process of bringing her home.

When you guys were stranded in Texas I prayed that God would open doors for jobs so you could get the van repaired. I’m a bit embarassed to admit that it did not occurr to me to simply ask my Father for the money. He so wants us to leave the puddle of our own understanding and follow Him to the great expanse of the ocean. You and I both knew that God wasn’t going to leave you in Laredo. We both saw how God could get you back to Mexico. You guys could get jobs and earn the cash you needed. If it happened that way we would have praised Him for His provision. But jobs were not readily available were they Boaz? I wonder when you as the Captain began to lose hope that you would not find work. I bet that credit card looked like the answer didn’t it? As it turned out God did not want to just provide a job. (Then a small bit of credit would have belonged to you.) He wanted to abundantly provide beyond our understanding! He is truly worthy of our trust.

God called Abram to leave all that was familiar to a land that He would show him. A land God would give to his offspring. There was a bit of a problem wasn’t there? Abrams wife Sarai could not have children. Abram said to God, “what good is your promise when my wife can’t have children.” But in the face of impossibility Abram believed God. He struggled and fell down a time or two on the way to the promise didn’t he, but God still fulfilled His promise. Here’s the Gold Boaz. Whatever you may call it: God’s will, God’s promises or plan do not depend on us or our performance. He will have His way. He will fulfill that which He promised. In the face of an impossible situation God invites us to believe! WOW!! THAT FILLS MY HEART!! I think Ashley has just received her invitation.

Oh well time to get this over with. Boaz, it’s easy to have faith in God when we can see our way from point (A) to point (B). I think real faith can’t see the way from point(A) to point (B) yet still believes.

My vision for Ashlee is simple. I wish she would look up from her puddle of understanding and trust God just enough to obey her dad. God has a great ocean to reveal to her.

I love you guys.

Sincerely,
Caleb

But I don’t know, that’s just me talkin’.

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