There is a struggle. There is a sin. There is a weakness. There is an appetite. There is something that I battle that keeps me from experiencing a deeper, closer, and more intimate walk with God. There is a secret life. If I ceased to have that struggle, if I became strong and lost that unhealthy appetite, then I would experience the Divine in my life as best as could be had this side of Heaven. It feels right. It sounds true. It gives me a life plan.

The previous paragraph I think adequately articulates the biggest lie that I believed. The fact is that sin and struggles have already been defeated. Victory over such has already been achieved by the completed work of Jesus. The next logical question would be “so what’s the problem?” Because I still struggle. I still sin. I’m still weak. I still crave things that have the potential to destroy me.

I don’t really think that my various struggles are what rob me of “a closer walk with Thee O Lord.” It doesn’t sound right I know but “sin is not my problem.” Sin was defeated at Calvary and ultimately so. Again, the next logical question: “So what is the problem?” My problem really is UNBELIEF. My struggles and attempts to get my needs met apart from God are how my unbelief is manifested. Do I believe Jesus is who He claims to be? Yes. Do I believe that He paid my debt and redeemed me? Yes. So what is it that I fail to believe?

Paul the Apostle asked God three times to remove his own personal struggle, impairment, weakness, whatever it was. God gave Paul this answer. “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

How things SEEM and how things truly ARE don’t always paint the same picture do they? I think about such things…….a lot. After much thought I have decided that I don’t want to be the man who had his fears, struggles, weaknesses, and unhealthy appetites surgically removed by God. I want to be the man who leaned into God’s sufficient grace and mastered them. I have to learn how to do that. I expect it will take the rest of my life.