I’ve made decisions I’ve lived to regret because I was wrong. I chose poorly, and people including me got hurt.

I’ve also made decisions I’ve lived to regret even when I was right. I chose correctly, but the outcome wasn’t what I expected. People including me still got hurt.

I’ve learned that how I feel afterward has little to do with whether a choice was right or wrong. As a child, I was taught that right choices would leave me feeling good later, and wrong choices would lead to guilt. Life has proven otherwise. Now I try to do what is right without letting my feelings decide its worth.

Not long ago, my son and I each had to have a family pet euthanized. It was the right thing in both cases but afterward came the sadness, the regret, the grief, and worst of all, the guilt.

Other moral questions are less clear. I have little temptation to break the laws that keep society civil. I don’t steal. I don’t harm others. I keep my promises. But I’ve watched as society’s moral compass shifts away from my own. Sometimes the pressure to conform is subtle; other times it’s relentless, pressing against my mind, my heart, my sons, and my daughters.

As culture drifts further from what I believe is true north, I find myself stepping back. I don’t protest. I don’t take to the streets. Not because I don’t value my opinion, I do but because I won’t weaponize it against someone else. I’ve learned that most conversations about deep convictions don’t change minds. Both sides usually leave with the same beliefs they brought.

If someone asks my opinion, I’ll give it. Not to persuade them, but because they asked. More often, friends and family ask how to do the right thing without destroying a relationship. They want to walk that narrow path holding to their convictions without alienating the people they care about.

My answer is this: Do what you believe is right. Understand that someone you love will likely be offended. Regret may come no matter what choice you make. A relationship may be lost. And the hardest choices whether right or wrong rarely leave you feeling good