In our early days my 22 year old and 5 months pregnant wife needed a full time job. At the time she was working part-time. Which in hindsight seems appropriate. Nevertheless, she approached her employer and asked him if he would consider changing her status to full-time. He had one question. “When can you start?” Such a thing would not happen in today’s world. In most cases today there is so much red tape to endure before one even qualifies as a candidate. There’s the background check, drug test, credit report followed by a series of interviews. That was not a scenario my wife had to endure. My wife worked for that man for over 30 years.

This past weekend we attended his funeral.

When I was young I didn’t realize the value of some people. Some people I assigned to the fringes. They were props or scenery on the stage of my life. I was focused on the drama and what was hard and failed to appreciate what was smooth and easy. My wife told me the other day the reason why she stayed with him those many years. Over the years she could have found somewhere else that would have paid her more. She could have found somewhere that would have paid her more and worked her less. She could have found a place that would have paid her more, worked her less, and offered other benefits…but she never left. Why? She told me it was because he was easy to work for and to be around. She said he was a genuinely good human being. I think what she really meant to say was that she loved him…and his family. To leave and go elsewhere would have broken her heart. So she worked for him until he retired and sold his business. The business was then absorbed into a bigger one across the street where my wife continues to develop professionally and serve many of the same people she did before. As I write this I realize that my wife has lived a grand career working for a man named Reggie Gaddis. She loved him, loves his family and the people she was employed to serve…and her career continues. She is a fortunate woman. There are not a lot of people who get to make a living doing what they love. There are fewer still who get a job they love and get to work with people they love.

I, on the other hand, only ever had a job. I worked with some good people but made no lasting friendships. For many years I liked the job just enough to keep doing it. The last years of my job I liked it less and less, putting my time and labor in it until I could retire. I only did it for the money…the tool to get stuff. I’m trying to figure out if that’s sad. It doesn’t feel sad. Thinking about it doesn’t make me sad. I got what I expected from it. I have a modest pension and social security. I guess I never equated employment with career. It seems like many people derive so much of their significance and value from what they do to make money…their career. I’m probably missing the point of it all…or the wiring in my brain is faulty. My wife sometimes says to me, “You just don’t get it.” It doesn’t seem like a big deal when it’s read. It’s something that sounds and feels more like “This is something that you are unable to understand and will forever remain outside of your ability to comprehend.” A bit harsh? Maybe…but she understands that my brain is wired differently and she has given up all attempts to change me…she loves me. To be fair my “inability to understand” hasn’t always proven to be true. There have been rare occasions when I did….eventually…“get it.” Forgive me if I can’t recall a particular example on the fly.

I suppose the point I’ve been trying to make is my wife has a rich and rewarding career. It all began when one genuinely good man asked her “When can you start?” I know the difference between a career and a job. Until recently I always had a job. It was neither rich or rewarding but my career has always been something else…continues to be something else…it must be something else.