When I was a younger man I had achieved the things that I had set out to do. I was a degreed college graduate. I was married to a wonderful woman. We had two beautiful children, a girl then a boy. Together my wife and I earned enough money to buy a new home and maintain a comfortable lifestyle. By the middle of 1993 I had what I wanted. I had a wife, a little girl and a baby boy with a new home to raise them in. I was thirty-three years old. I don’t and didn’t consider myself particularly accomplished. I was just doing what I thought was necessary…..what was expected of an adult person. I had a happily ordinary life.

I have a memory of a night at home during those years. Everyone was in bed as I walked through the house locking doors and turning off lights. I realize now that locking doors and turning off lights would be a fundamental duty of mine for all time. As I walked up the stairs I had the idea of taking a quick peek at my kids in their beds before I went to bed. My daughter Ashley’s room was at the top of the stairs so I gently cracked the door allowing just enough light to get in so that I could see her sleeping. I had that feeling of…..whatever it is that any mom or dad has when they watch their child peacefully sleeping. I quietly closed the door and crossed the landing to my son Nick’s room. He too was sleeping quietly. There were some nights he would just appear to be sleeping. As I closed the door sometimes he would whisper to me from his bed, ” ‘night dad.” On this particular night he was fast asleep as I silently closed his door.

There is another bedroom upstairs that I normally ignored because no one slept there. It was the guest room. Even though no one was in the room I still opened the door. I opened that door. Everyone who knows me knows what happened next. The thoughts and choices I made on that night changed the narrative of not only my life but the lives of my wife and children.

An opportunity was presented to me to either continue with my happy ordinary life or to accept an invitation that offered something else…..something more…something extraordinary. The thing I was asked to do was not something that I could unilaterally decide by myself. The very nature of the invitation required the consent and participation of my wife. In the beginning she was happily content with our peacefully ordinary lives and didn’t wish to make such a radical choice that would change everything. I didn’t push the issue or pursue it further because she was right. What was I thinking? She listened to my proposal and held it up to the light of day and I realized that this was too big, too special for us. I put the matter aside but I did not forget the empty room at the top of the stairs.

There was a summer evening when my wife Keri and I with our two kids had a family night at the movies. When the movie was over and we were outside, Ashley and Nick decided to make the trip to the car a foot race but Keri and I walked behind them. As we walked Keri took my arm and leaned into me just a bit. She asked me if I remembered what I had asked her earlier in the year. I remembered. She said, “Let’s do that.” I said, “Yes, let’s do that.”

As it turned out we did not make a very informed decision but we completely trusted the one who made the offer.

A lifetime ago my wife and I decided to grow our family through adoption. We adopted two young children from Romania. We brought Nicoleta home when she was almost five years old. Later we returned to Romania and brought Luc home. He was just over four years old. As Ashley and Nick grew to be young adults we adopted two more children from Guatemala. Miguel was five years old. He was followed by Ana who was almost eleven years old.

So now, all these years later, how do I feel about my choices? To be honest my expectations have not been realized. I expected something different….something more…..something better. I understand that the story is not over, the journey goes on. My hope for my children resides with Jesus Christ who is in fact God. It was his invitation that Keri and I accepted all those years ago. Along the way I have discovered what it means to follow where he leads, to go where he invites. My experience is that the path of what is extraordinary is not filled with miracles, parting waters, water turned to wine, or divine interventions. It is a life filled with joy while simultaneously filled with suffering. I have also learned that adopting four children was not God’s way of rescuing them from poverty, abuse, and other difficult circumstances. It’s really the story of how God is changing me into the man he wants me to be. I have been the dimmest of pupils but I believe that I am among his favorites.

As Keri and I were going about the business of growing our family, there was another agenda being carried out in the life of Ashley. By the time Ana and Miguel became her new brother and sister she was already living and thriving in Guatemala City, Guatemala. How does a young woman from South East Tennessee find herself in Central America? I heard her answer this question and I have kept her answer hidden in my heart. She said that her parents were very influential in her life. I never recall ever recommending that she invest her life with the poorest of the poor in this hemisphere. It was never her parents suggestion that she take up residence in the most dangerous neighborhood in Guatemala City or work with the most dangerous people in the prison system there. Yet she said her parents were influential in the choices she made. She said, “Mom and dad are people who did something. They didn’t talk about it or send money to someone who was doing something…..they adopted four people and it is very likely that they saved their lives. I want to be someone who does something.”