The thing I think I have the most difficulty communicating to my kids is that the stuff that truly satisfies is not within their reach. Sometimes I’m the source of the difficulty. I want to bring my kids to Jesus but I don’t think that is his way of accomplishing his agenda. The shepherd does not place himself on the side of life’s road waiting for lost and wandering sheep to pass him. He sets out himself to find them. Will he find all of you? Sometimes I find it difficult to see the difference between influence and control. I am in a place of profound influence and absolutely no control. I fear the darkness that he will allow in the lives of my children as he sets his will on them.

Soon your younger sister will be lost to me as your brother is. She dabbles and trifles with things that provide no meaning or direction. She is beginning to realize that she is hungry and thirsty. Her journey to relief and painlessness has begun. I had to take her somewhere this morning and we had this brief exchange.

“Can I tell you something that I have found to be true?”

“Okay.”

“You will soon begin to understand that you have needs that you’ll want to satisfy. You’ll want others to like you and love you. You’ll want to be important to others. You’ll want to matter and be a part of something that fills you up.”

I took my eyes from the road for a moment to look at her. Our eyes met and I realized she had not tuned me out. She was still listening so I continued.

“Often teenage girls and young women will think that their needs can be met by another person, most often that person is a boy or young man. It works in much the same way for boys too. They think that the thing that will satisfy them is the right girl. It is not unusual for young people to give themselves away to another in an effort to satisfy their hearts.”

“I know it’s God’s job to do that, right?”

“That’s exactly right.”

“You’re a good dad, I’ll do the right thing.”

“Thanks sweetie, but it doesn’t matter if I was a good parent or not. Ultimately, you are responsible for your choices. People decide all the time to do what’s wrong even though they know better. Knowing better doesn’t matter if you don’t decide to do better.”

We arrived where I was to leave her, she collected her stuff and got out of the car. Before she closed the door she told me that she loved me. “I love you too.” Then she was gone. As of today she loves me. Soon she will tell me that she hates me, just as you did, just as your brother did. Soon she will blame me for her misery. I think I can live with that. I hope and trust that she emerges from the darkness free. Just like you.